His father came first to Britain, they followed. Saif is convinced his father didn't want them. He would slam doors, slam their mother, slam the two boys. Saif remembers being pulled down the staircase of the council flats by his ankles, screaming, holding out his arms to his mother.
Saif found he could escape beating by bursting into tears whenever there was trouble. So the father beat the elder brother who blamed Saif. And strangest of all, because he wasn't beaten, Saif thought his father didn't love him.
Saif grew up disruptive, with bad grades and short attention span. He still finds reading nigglingly annoying, and hates most television. Things bore him. Women bore him, Amrita bores him.
"You still hate your father," his mother said sadly.
"Yes, yes I do," said Saif.
He did not see his father standing behind him. "But I've grown up now," his father said. It's true. Nowadays he is quiet, gentle, polite.
That is the worst of it. Saif cannot even reach the man who did it . He keeps flicking the magazine pages.