Masculine fruit and veg man, 35, going to seed, often wears no shirt seeks female customers to be mildly titillated and buy his cucumbers (geddit?) Full price list available on request.

Swings both ways... male or female makes no difference to this post office counter worker who seeks lunchtime relief. Low pay means he's all alone on the afternoon shift. Help him cut that queue! A burden shared is a burden shared.

Dry cleaning shop seeks woman, pref Eastern-European speaking for below minimum wage employment. Must have unrecognised degree from university in collapsed republic and charming, intelligent, hardworking manner.

Professional male, handsome but ditsy 32, seeks adult to return library books, get printer in for repair, pay council tax etc. Most letters with photograph answered unless lost. Must be prepared to answer all other responses to this ad.

Man, 39, told good looking, needs someone to tell him he's good looking. That's all.

Woman 40 needs people to mother. Preferably lower class and ignored at work. Let me do everything for you. That way we can never be equals. All nationalities welcome.

Middle aged woman, non-scene, seeks same for visiting Royal Academy Summer Show, exchanging gardening tips etc. Must drink Earl Grey. No phonies.

Married couple mid 30s seek new friends for safe times at pop concerts. Lightning Seeds, Boo Radleys. Full and frank letter stating preferences gets same by return.

Young 50, isolated, needs devoted listeners for monotone political rants: Clinton a commie, Thatcherdestroyed country etc. Willing to travel.

another important announcement
First passenger in Car 3
Back to Passenger 71
Car 3 map
Journey Planner

The nice person
from 253
had answered his ad...
and was washing
his smalls