advertisment

Bored? At a loss what to with your time on the train? Order your copy now of...

253 Things To Do on the Tube

Hundreds of ideas, including...

  • Read the paper of the person next to you.
  • Tut when they read faster than you do, turning the page before you're ready.
  • Keep shifting a deserted heap of newspaper to different empty seats.
  • Clean your spectacles on your tie.
  • Protect your briefcase with your feet.
  • Protect your new shoes with your briefcase.
  • Protect your briefcase, handbag and computer carrier from the filthy floor by crowding them all onto your lap.
  • Then sneeze, unable to cover your mouth.
  • Demand that people move further down the cars without seeing the baby carriage in the aisle.
  • Speculate on the nature of the yellow fluid in the Lucozade bottle rolling around the floor.
  • Fart.
  • Pound helplessly on the chocolate machine as your train arrives.
  • Pick at the loose skin around your fingernails.
  • Twiddle your earring round and round through your ear until someone wails "Please! Stop!"
  • Nibble your hair.
  • Check for split ends.
  • Clean your ears with a biro top.
  • Sweat.
  • Take surreptitious notes about your neighbours - the lurching train will make them unreadable.
  • Read the Blistex ads and marvel that anyone could publish illustrations that bad.
  • Spot the foreigners. They are the ones who:
  • hold onto each other instead of the handrails when the train lurches
  • crowd on in a panic, holding the doors open
  • smoke
  • bellow aross the aisle trying to talk over the noise
  • have to get off laughing at the next stop, going the wrong way.

    • Yes, hours of fun await you on London Underground ...
    with 253!

    Another important announcement
    the first important announcement
    First passenger in Car 5
    Car 5 map
    Journey Planner