Car 4

Mr Ibrahim Gurer

Outward appearance

Oppressed clerk. Bald, sweaty, plump, in fawn overcoat, grey suit, glasses and briefcase.

Inside information

Turkish Cypriot working in his own travel agency on Kennington Road. Times are hard. This is usually his best time of year and bookings are down. He is a specialist in tours of Turkish Cyprus, which is little help.

What he is doing or thinking

His life is like a nutcracker. His English wife has gone a kind of crazy. The symptom is buying sprees. One room is full of toys that the child doesn't want. Huge blue teddy bears, pink bunnies. Another room is full of clothes and shoes. She buys a CD a day.

He has seen Absolutely Fabulous and knows who his wife is: she is the PR lady. That is how other English people see her, almost pretty but gauche, always in pain, always demanding something. She thinks she is a woman of no position. After all she married a Turk. He can see why she spends: if you spend money, people treat you well. It is not toys she is buying but respect.

His brother in shipping back home sent Ibrahim a substantial sum to invest. He is doing nothing with it, but let his wife spend. He will be destitute. He looks at the travel advertisements above the seats, they all offer the same destinations. He racks his brain. What else can he offer?

For no reason, he remembers an old Led Zeppelin album cover: the Devil's Causeway.

Of course. Come see beautiful Northern Ireland. After all, there's a ceasefire.

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