Car 4

Mr John Minnott

Outward appearance

Cherubically round man, about 45, in a spruce pinstripe suit and a new blue tie. Grey, flyaway hair. Smiles benignly through slightly piggy eyes.

Inside information

Works in Shipment Traffic for Pall Mall Oil. Once used pins on maps, now works with computers and feels up to date.

What he is doing or thinking

He is thinking of his wife Jean and their morning snuggles. Jean is plump and soft with a vast bottom. Their routine is to wake up at 6.30 every morning for a half hour hug.

It starts with Jean inserting herself under his arm, and resting her head on his grizzled chest. This is called Minging. Then she turns on her side and he hugs her bottom. Then they roll over and she hugs his. It's like toast, you have to do both sides. The climax is the Smumph. He rolls one leg over her and sinks as if she were pillows.

John is convinced being that being snuggled regularly gives people an aura. He is sure the old gent opposite is snuggled. So is the laughing girl at the end of the row. Not many other people are, and he feels sorry for them.

He is sure that snuggled people have a broader perspective on life. He could write a book about it: The Secret of Snuggles. It would advise long warm showers afterwards as part of the general cosiness, and give practical advice on what to if someone farts. (Basically, you ignore it or light a match).

What a lucky man you are, he thinks.

Previous passenger
Next passenger
Car 4 map
Journey Planner